K-pop isn’t just a genre of music, it’s a way of life. I learned that at the YG Family Concert I went to on the weekend, along with plenty more of K-pop’s golden lessons.
1: Gimmicks are everything. If you want to throw a shit-hot concert you need CGI, a stage more complicated than the mechanics of Optimus Prime, a team of trained backing dancers in vile fantastic matching outfits, crazy pyrotechnics and – most importantly – shoes with wheels.
2: As the audience, you are expected to facilitate the theme of the gimmick by purchasing a glowstick in the shape of your favourite K-pop act’s logo. You are also expected to wave it at all times, without apologising if you keep repeatedly hitting people in the head with it in your excitement.
3: The internet is relying on you to document the concert, even if it means you risk being forcibly removed from the concert. You must post grainy videos on YouTube immediately afterwards of Big Bang’s now infamous cover of 2NE1′s ‘I AM THE BEST’.
4: The name Minzi is in fact pronounced Minge-y.
5: Just because an act is called Se7en, doesn’t necessarily mean it has seven members. It can even have one member! British boyband 5ive (bad boys with the power to rock you) may have misled you in their early days, but even they were cut down to four in the end.
6: You can run a motorcyclist over and still get more cheers than the rest of your band. #Daesung #BigBang.
7: You can botox your face until it looks like a pillow and still lip-sync sing like a pro. #ParkBom #2NE1
8: The tackier your outfit, the more of a star you are. Outrageously furry sleeveless gilets and ankle-length neon jackets? Psy, I’m looking at you. Paisley print, bondage gear and tassels? T.O.P, you’re making my eyes hurt.
And the ultimate lesson?
9: K-pop is unrepeatable, hilarious, camp, cheesy, fun, and just downright brilliant. If you get a chance to go to a concert while you’re in Korea, I highly recommend that you don something ridiculous and jump at the chance.
Images: Me, (make sure you check out her tumblr), 21bangs, and reginafaith.
